HONOR THE FALLEN, FEAR THE MONSTER
As I'm sure you guys know, this has been a hell of a week for my Veteran and myself. From the raid of our home to the arrest to the court proceedings to coming home to find TWO MORE ordinance violations on our door. I've kept it up pretty well so far. I haven't shed a single tear. Until now.
In preparation for getting Michael some better treatment for his PTSD, one of his Marine brothers sent over some literature for the VA. He also sent over the obituaries for three of Mike's battle buddies that were killed in Fallujah by a car bomb. Reading those pieces of paper was harder on me than anything that I've experienced so far this week.
There's now faces and names to what feeds the Combat PTSD Monster that lives in my home.
Marine Lance Cpl. Michael P. Scarborough
Died October 30, 2004 Serving During Operation Iraqi Freedom
Georgia Marine killed in Iraq
Associated Press
WASHINGTON, Ga. — Lance Cpl. Michael Philip Scarborough, who was killed near Fallujah, Iraq, was scheduled to be buried on Veterans Day.
A member of the Marines’ elite Force Recon, Scarborough, 28, was killed Oct. 30 with 11 other Marines by a suicide car bomb in Iraq. Sgt. Kelley L. Courtney of Macon, 28, also lost his life in the attack.
Scarborough was to end his military duty in the spring.
A 1995 graduate of Washington-Wilkes Comprehensive High School, Scarborough attended Athens Technical College and joined the Marine Corps in 2001 at age 25.
Scarborough always dreamed of a military career and traveled the world with his company, said Mike Scarborough. He visited 12 countries last year, his father said.
He had been stationed in the Middle East since before the start of the war, despite an injury that put him out of duty for six weeks. Scarborough had told his parents he planned to leave the military when his commitment ended in spring.
He complained that he was getting too old for reconnaissance duty and told his family not to send packages or mail, since he had to carry all his personal belongings from place to place, his father said.
Scarborough will be buried in the family cemetery near his grandfather, according to Mike Scarborough.
Marine Lance Cpl. John T. Byrd II
Died October 30, 2004 Serving During Operation Iraqi Freedom
W.Va. Marine buried on Veterans Day
Associated Press
FAIRVIEW, W.Va. — A Marine from Fairview who was killed in Iraq last month was remembered for his courage and respect for others.
Lance Cpl. John Thomas Byrd II, 23, was buried by his family on Veterans Day with full military honors. Byrd was killed Oct. 30 along with seven other Marines by a suicide car bomb in Iraq.
Pastor Delas Stuzen, who remembered Byrd attending Noah’s Ark Assembly of God Church’s youth center and playing basketball with his friends, noted his kindness and bravery.
“I saw some qualities in that young man that were a little different,” he said. “He was quieter. He was a gentleman. He was a good guy.”
“Cpl. Byrd laid his life down to free a people he didn’t know.”
Byrd’s family was presented with a Purple Heart that Byrd earned for wounds received in action that resulted in his death.
Folded flags were presented to Byrd’s mother, Nan Byrd, and his wife, Jessica Byrd, who is due to give birth to their son in January.
Byrd’s father, John T. Byrd, said his son decided on his own to join the Marine Corps.
“He wanted to do something important,” he said. “He didn’t want to live the everyday life. He was a fighter.”
Marine Cpl. Christopher J. Lapka
Died October 30, 2004 Serving During Operation Iraqi Freedom
Arizonan killed in Iraq weekend violence
By Michelle Roberts
Associated Press
PHOENIX — A Hawaii-based Marine who gave up an academic scholarship to join the military because he was so moved by the events of Sept. 11 was among eight killed in Saturday’s violent attack in Iraq.
Cpl. Christopher J. Lapka, 22, had been in Iraq for only two weeks when the attack occurred, said his mother, Tina Lapka, on Monday. Saturday’s casualties, caused by a car bomb detonated near a truck, were the most for the U.S. military in a single day in nearly six months. Nine other Marines were injured.
Lapka, of Peoria, Ariz., had been anxious to go to Iraq, his mother said.
“He was a Marine. That’s all he was. He was dedicated to the Marine Corps. This is what he wanted to do,” Tina Lapka said.
He enlisted on Sept. 17, 2001, waiting until Thanksgiving to tell his parents that he was quitting school to become a Marine. He reported for military duty the following January after he completed his third semester at Arizona State University, where he had been a dean’s list civil engineering student.
“Sept. 11 affected him so bad he felt it was his duty to join the Marine Corps,” Tina Lapka said.
Her son had never spoken of joining the Marine Corps before, so his parents were shocked. But, Tina Lapka said, they were very proud of him.
Lapka — called “C.J.” by his mother — was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division of the III Marine Expeditionary Force in Hawaii.
The Hawaii assignment upset him because “they weren’t facing any action,” Tina Lapka said.
He refrained, however, from telling him family details of his duties. “I think he didn’t want me to worry,” his mother said.
She missed a call from Iraq from him on Friday but had recently gotten an e-mail and a letter.
His one request: that she send care packages for six of his friends who weren’t getting packages like the ones she sent bearing homemade chocolate chip cookies.
In addition to his mother, Lapka is survived by his father, Ken Lapka, and his 18-year-old sister, Michelle.
Funeral arrangements were pending.
Until I read these obituaries, I was guilty of what most of us are. I, too, only had a very vague concept of war. Although I have heard many times that some of Mike's Marine brothers had "fallen", it never completely dawned on me who these brave young men were. Like the vague concept of war that I have, they were also only a vague concept as people.
In the Stephen King short story, "The Library Policeman", the protagonist finds that his childhood fears are real. The mean librarian is a monster that survives off of the tears of frightened children. In real life, the Combat PTSD Monster survives off of not only the sacrifice of young men and women, he also survives off of the tears of their survivors and the fears of their Brothers and Sisters in arms. This is how he thrives!
We all know that time heals all wounds. Maybe not completely, but it makes living a little more bearable with each passing day. But what happens when you have your wounds reopened up day after day? Year after year?
One of the things that all of the Combat Vets I talk to tells me about are their "triggers". One good friend tells me that Arabic music triggers him. Another tells me that loud noises triggers him. What about fearing for not only your life but also the life of the person who helps you through your darkest days? Don't you think that may be a trigger too?
What's been going on with Michael and the police department is like adding insult to injury. Hell, even I'm starting to get more than a little shaky - and I don't have PTSD. However, I can see how this constant pressure feeds the PTSD Monster and makes that nasty son of a bitch stronger than ever.
Plead or ROT IN JAIL.
What happens when you feel that your life is being threatened again? Do the faces of your fallen comrades flash through your mind? Do you go on "red alert"? Are you triggered into survival mode?
I don't know the answers to these questions. However, I do see the look on Mike's face when we get another citation. Another court date. Another PIECE OF PAPER that says one thing but means another in the mind of a Combat Vet.
YOU WILL GO TO JAIL OR WORSE IF YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME.
However, these people don't know the PTSD Monster like I do. They don't know that you can't teach him a lesson. They don't know that they are feeding him steak and caviar in the form of another citation. Another letter. Another threat to the right of a man to live in his home in peace.
You see, you can't teach that monster a lesson. Because monsters don't care about anyone other than to feed their hunger. They hunger for power. They hunger for control.
As I type this, I now see another monster besides the Combat PTSD one. But instead of feeding off of the tears of loved ones and survivors of battle, this one feeds off the look on a certain Combat Veteran's face every time he gets another notice. Another court date. Another piece of paper that says one thing but really means another.
This monster is human. And he's very real.
